To Know Your Story

I recently read in the Advocate there is a class for individuals to begin writing their family story, their memories, learning their genealogy. This is wonderful! My column is just that …… memories of my story, my family and friends and my early life in Barbourville. Unfortunately many of those who lived in my family history are no longer here for me to ask questions. I wish I had been more attentive when I had the opportunity to listen. I believe knowing experiences of how your parents and grandparents lived is important. This class will be a great opportunity to do just that with family, or research those no longer living.
The following is a piece I wrote around the year 2000.
My parents and grandparents did the very best they could with the knowledge they had when my brothers and I were growing up. They tried to meet our daily needs and to instill good work, ethics and a love of family. Have you stopped to listen, to give your undivided attention, to hear your family members stories? I am only guessing, but I think many will be guilty of not being interested in listening to tales about…. the good old days when family members were growing up. As an adolescent, I remember family telling me stories of coming through the depression. I wish I had been more receptive and, a better listener. Have you heard the saying sometimes pictures speak louder than words? In many of my family photos, I see family with stooped shoulders from hard work. Many of the women look depressed with sad faces. Both images are signs of harsh, grim lives and times. These same family members hoped for a better life for the next generation. They could not tell us how to achieve a better life. They simply had the faith we would find the way.
I remember tough, bleak times during my childhood living on The Lane. I have an understanding of those times and a deep respect for their struggles. My hope is to pass family experiences to our younger family members. I hope my memories will give them an idea of how their ancestors lived. Sharing their life to this generation is important. They will never know except through memories. I wish nieces and nephews could have known my grandma, Mable. She was a force. She took pride in keeping her house and garden. She loved her family and her neighbors. I want them to know she dried many tears of my generation on the hem of her apron. And, I know some of her own tears as well.
I would like them to know how my mom Beulah’s needle, thread, and a mother’s love managed to do more than all the Kings horses, and all the Kings men. She quite simply made the time when I was growing up special. She encouraged my vivid imagination. And, just being me would bring a smile to her face. Grandma and mom gave me wings and helped me to understand my roots. The history of my parents and grandparents lives, has given me a deeper respect for them and the past. And a desire to preserve it. Never in a million years would my parents and grandparents have known the simple ways they lived on a country lane would have inspired anyone, especially me! I know they respected and loved life and would want me to do the same. And I do.
After this article was printed I received emails from some individuals no longer with us. The first was from an old friend Claudia Burnett Jones. Claudia wrote, “Mildred, I enjoy Memories from The Lane. They take me back to my childhood. I was raised on a dirt road that had trenches so deep and wide that we skated on the ice that filled those trenches in the winter time. The dirt road I grew up on was called Scratch Ankle, now known as Sunny Brook Lane. My mother lives on the lane, in the same house where she was raised, and where she raised my brothers, sister and myself”. (2000) Claudia thank you for sharing your memories.
Another reader, Pauline Scott wrote “I enjoy your memories so much that I felt compelled to write the Advocate. I also look forward to Mike Mills history pictures. They are treasures for my scrapbook. I was raised on Brad Martin Lane and left Barbourville to find work years ago. But my heart remains in Knox County. I don’t work anymore so I have time to remember home. I pray the Lord will bless you and give you words to write for a long time Millie.” (2000) Pauline, your words warmed my heart.
When I hear from readers they are sharing some of their story. It means so much and I am inspired by them.
Millie’s Quote for the day an old Chinese proverb: to forget one’s ancestors is to be a book without a source - a tree without roots.