The things kids will say

Regina Bargo  Tales from the Classroom
Regina Bargo
Tales from the Classroom

It never fails. Every year… at least once a week or so a child gets accused for picking their nose and putting the contents into their mouth. I tried to discourage this by telling the students that their nose is like the bathroom of their head. I explained when you pick your nose and eat it, it’s like eating from the toilet. Of course, the students all shouted, “ EEEEEWWWWW!” However, since that time, not one child has been accused of picking their nose and eating the extraction! I decided to brag on the students for their success with this problem when a little boy squealed, “You know what? My daddy fell in pig snot before!” I quickly replied, “But I bet he didn’t eat it!” He winced, “No way!”

We play a lot of games where students have to write answers on dry erase boards. When one of my little girls was the only one to get an answer right, I decided to let her go to the board to write and explain how she had gotten her answer. She was so proud that she put her hands on her hips, pranced up to the board, and bragged, “This is so easy! I’ve done it for like 15 years!” I assume she forgot that she is only five years old!

At the end of the school day on Friday when the students were waiting on their buses, I sighed, “I don’t have a clue what I’ll fix for supper.” A little boy said, “I know what you can do! You can get a piece of paper and write down on it what you want for supper, and I will take it to the lunch ladies and they will cook it for you! Really, they will cook anything you want!” When I told the lunch ladies what he had said, they laughed. I guess he was wrong!

Today, a little boy whined, “Mrs. Bargo if you buy a boat, remember my family really needs one.”  I asked, “Oh, if I buy a boat you want to borrow it?” He answered, “No I want you to give it to me!”

Next, I overheard a little girl telling her friend that her ear was hurting really bad. She explained, “…But my mommy won’t buy syrup for it to feel better until I’m 16 because she don’t think I’m old enough to pour it in by myself.” In a few minutes, she decided to add to her story,” I’ve been trying to tie my tooth up with a string on the door knob so I can pull my tooth out, but it doesn’t work cause I don’t have any syrup to pull it out either!”